Well I'm sorry again. Not sorry to you, but sorry that I've believed you every time you say sorry. To me, sorry means that the mistake won't be repeated. But I guess that's just for me. And I've been naive, thinking that everyone would think the same as me.
Recently I've realized how far apart our worlds are. And I've been trying and trying not to think about the differences in our lifestyles and characters, but time and again you just keep reminding me. It's really difficult to trudge on and smile when deep inside it's eating me.
I don't want to end things like before, I hate hurting people. I really do. But honestly, I don't know how long I can keep this up.
Perhaps it was a mistake from the start, thinking that there was something everlasting between the two of us. And if it was, then it was a selfish mistake.
But then again, ever since we got together you've changed so much. Either that or I've become so much more sensitive and attuned to every emotion and word you say/feel. And maybe you can't notice, but I've been hurt. You've been doing so many things that you didn't do in the past, and I'm thinking it's my fault. I've changed you. Not in a good way, it seems. And when I see these things, it pains me.
I warned you that there were wounds not yet healed, scars not yet faded. But instead of aiding me in recovering, you numbed them for a moment and tore apart new ones.
It's both a gift and a curse, I realize, being able to see emotions rather clearly.
God, what should I do. I'm lost.
